Black Waters
by kinzeylee
Summary: Her love was truer than Bella and Edward's, and deeper than Sam and Emily's. Silence is the greatest strength, and Leah was the strongest of all.


AN: Alright, I decided to start a new one. As I've mentioned various other places, I don't like Twilight and I'm not a Stephanie Meyer fan, but I love the character Leah. In my opinion she is one of the only strong female characters in Twilight, and her ending was very unresolved. I thought, as I'm sure many did, that she would end up with Jacob, but alas, no, she ends up with no one and is forgotten about for the rest of Breaking Dawn. Furthermore, Jacob imprints on Renesmee. So this is my what-if, where Leah shows us how screwed up her shape-shifting genes really are, and that she is truly the strongest and most loyal character in the series, not to mention the fact that she's also the only one who truly understands love, in all its depth and complexity.

AN: Sorry for the really long rant**/**informational author's note. Rated T for brief suicidal undertones. I do not own any of this. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Now, onwards!

**Black Waters**

"In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight." ~Eponine, _On My Own, Les Miserables_

**Second Sight**

She didn't fall in love with him at first sight. Leah didn't even believe in that shit. Ever since being totally screwed over by Sam, Leah hated mushy romantic stuff with a passion. So she _definitely_ didn't believe in love at first sight. The people who did fall in love like that were either immature, desperate, utter losers, or they were imprinting.

_Imprinting._

It was a word that devoured her thoughts, and constantly haunted her nightmares. It was something she despised, and something she cursed, but it was also something she desperately wished for. To finally find the other half of you, your _soul mate_, was something she craved with each breath.

To finally be rid of the pain would be absolute bliss. …_Please, anyone. Just anyone. It could even be a kid..._ She swore she wouldn't care who she imprinted on, as long as she lost the pain over Sam.

And later, Leah would think back to that one ignorant desire with anger and regret, but she couldn't deny the truth: she had gotten her wish.

* * *

She had been leaning on a tree outside the leech house, in human form, when Jacob came bursting out of the door. He began to pace frantically on the porch, back and forth, back and forth, until she got dizzy from watching him. He looked so vulnerable, so weak, that she knew instantly.

Bella was dead.

The stuck-up, narcissistic pathetic leech-lover was finally dead.

But Jacob had loved her, so Leah couldn't hold anything against her, especially in death. She began to jog towards his figure. He needed someone there for him, to tell him he wasn't alone, that it would be okay. She was part of his pack, and she wouldn't let him suffer alone in silence.

And then, just as he turned again in his pacing, his hair caught the light of the sun. It was an innocent enough thing in itself, but in that moment, the stars went out and the world tipped upside down. Leah felt a sharp twist in her gut, and the earth seemed to rise and fall under her feet. Time froze and movement ceased, and her old life, her old pain, was blown away into smithereens.

_No, this is not how it happens; this isn't how it's supposed to happen!_ ,she tried to cry out, but the words died on her lips as she was struck by the infinite truth that she had discovered. _That she had known her entire life without realizing._

The universe, _her universe_, was centered around one amazing, brilliant point of light.

She started running as fast as she could towards him. She needed to tell him, to feel him, _to taste him_. He was her everything now. She would never let him fall, would never let him hurt.

"Jacob!" she yelled as she got closer. "Jacob…" she trailed off as she reached the porch.

He looked down to where she was standing, to her, and she wanted to leap into her arms. She wanted him to stop crying and reach for her, and tell her, "I feel it too, Leah. I love you…"

Why wasn't he doing that?

Why was he crying?

"Jacob?" she asked, "What's wrong?"

He looked at her, his eyes filled with tears.

"I imprinted," he choked out.

She nodded frantically. "I know. Don't worry, I can feel it too. It's alright."

He stared at her in shock.

"You…can feel it too?"

She smiled as wetness seeped out of her eyes. "Of course I can. How couldn't I?"

"You're… okay with it? It doesn't seem crazy or strange?"

She shook her head at how silly he was being. "Yes, I'm totally fine with it. I swear. It's what I always wanted."

He stared at her, amazement and awe sweeping over his features and radiating out of his being. Suddenly, he leaped down the stairs and swept her up into a giant warm hug. She embraced him, burying her nose into his shoulder and inhaling his scent. Pressing her body up against his, she realized that this moment was absolutely perfect. It was pure love and pure bliss, all rolled up in one. It was what she had always wanted, but never had. And as they stood there in each other's arms, that one moment felt like an eternity.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair. "Thank you so, _so much_. I wasn't sure how I felt about this, but now I know it's right. I'm just so glad you're okay with it. I don't know how everyone else will take it. Especially Edward and Bella."

She pulled her head up so she could look at him. "Bella's not dead?" That was confusing.

He shook his head. "No. It was close, but she's not dead. She's changing."

She nodded, taking in the information. "Oh. That's... good. But...why would they care?" she asked, her lips quirking into a smile.

He laughed. "Well, Renesmee _is_ their daughter."

And for the second time in her short life, Leah felt her heart wither and die.

* * *

She had asked who Renesmee was, and he had told her. He had asked how she didn't know that, and she explained it all away, saying that her confusion had been because she didn't know the child's name. Jacob had laughed at that, saying, "Yeah, it's kind of a mouthful."

He had gone back inside, saying he needed to face this (along with Edward's wrath.)

She had stayed outside.

When he was gone, she ran like the wind. No wolf form this time, just two legs and an anguished mind. She'd run far into the woods, deeper into the green, until she was sure no one would hear her. And then she collapsed onto the moss and cried. She screamed and wailed and cursed. She howled at the stars and the cruel moon in her human form in absolute sorrow, because she knew it now: she would never have a normal life, or even a "normal" life as a werewolf. She would be forever tied to a man that she loved unconditionally, and he would never love her back. She would watch him dote over a _spawn of Satan, _and she would continue to be that girl that nobody wanted, and that everyone rejected.

_I used to be pretty_, she mused as she lay curled up on the forest floor. She fingered her short ugly hair as she considered this. _I used to be nice and pretty and everybody used to love me._

_What happened?_ She wondered absently as she drifted off to sleep under the speckled starlight. _What changed?_

**Everything.**

* * *

When she woke up, she almost thought it was a dream: A completely terrible strange fictional dream.

But then she felt the pull, the change within herself, and she knew that it was true. She was in love with Jacob. Jacob was in love with Renesmee. Her life was fucked up. Again.

Except it was even worse this time. This time, there was no end in sight. Until one of them died, she would be stuck in this nightmare.

This led her to briefly contemplated suicide.

Then she slapped herself, _hard_, across the cheek. Suicide was for quitters. Suicide was for the weak. **Leah. Was. Not. Weak.**

_(-at least that's what she kept on telling herself-)_

She knew that she needed to head back. But how could she face the thought_, the sight_, of Jacob head-over-heels in love with something else? And what happened when he found out? When they all found out?

Because they would, she knew. As soon as all the wolves shifted over, they would know her deep dark secret. It was already enough that they knew of her bitterness over Sam, and her shame over the fact that she was practically menopausal, but this? This was so much worse. They would never look at her the same ever again. She would be the freak among freaks, the out-est of the outcasts.

She couldn't live like that.

So she sat down on the damp earth and began to meditate. She wasn't really sure what she was doing. She had never meditated before in her life. She just tried to clear her head and her heart until she was completely alone, entirely inside herself.

Then she imagined a box.

It was a small black box, with just room inside for one secret. It was in the depths of her mind, and she alone held the key. Into it she stuffed her secret, the one no one must ever know. She crammed it inside and shut the lid, and with one fluid motion she locked the box and threw away the key.

When that was done, she got up and went back to the Cullen's.

_Smiling all the way._


End file.
